Let's Play A Game

There are 2 challenges for you, that you can try with others too. In both challenges, you have 20 seconds to complete an exercise. The timer can be seen below, which you can trigger by clicking Start after reading each challenge, found further below the timer.

Timer

For the next 20 seconds, do not think of the colour red

For the next 20 seconds, do not think of your breathing, ignore when you breath in and breath out.

Going Forward

What did these exercises teach you? When we set a goal, we are often trying to turn a less favourable situations to a positive one, but by focusing on the current problem and not the future solution, the task will be harder.

Your affirmation might be a positive one, buy if said in a negative form, our minds will struggle. For example if you say "I will not smoke", the "not" might ignored and the focus could be "smoke" instead, and although you may succeed with that goal, it generally makes things harder, because you are defining yourself with things you are not rather than what you are. Therefore, you shoould focus on affirmations in the positive form for your goals, to attract and align you accordingly with the mindset and actions you need.
Below, there are some examples of both types of affirmations.

Affirmation in the Negative Form	Affirmation in the Positive Form
I will not procrastinate	I will be productive
I want to be less fat/ I want to lose weight	I want to be fit / I want to live a healthy lifestyle
I want to to stop being poor/broke	I want to be wealthy/financially stable
I want to stop being insecure/unhappy	I want to be confident/happy
I want to stop smoking	I want healthier lungs and I am in control.
I will not eat this morning	I will fast this morning

These affirmations go beyond your goal setting but your communication in general, where rather than saying to someone "sorry for being late" you can show appreciation "thank you for waiting", you can read more in this article.

Some questions that might help

Identifying the problem	Source of the problem and fixing it	How to solve it?
What traits do you have that you are not comfortable with?	Where does it come from? In which environments is it more common to be displayed? When do you not behave in such a way? Was there an age when you were different?	Write the equivalent positive traits next to the negative ones, how can you display them more and more? - Example: Using visualizations, affirmations, active changes what. Focus on the positive ones and write a plan with at least 10 actions where you would display it more and more, even if you have to fake it until you make it. You and others may resist the changes and actions, as it's not the one you and they are comfortable with, but consistency will make it the new normal.
What negative traits do you attract mostly in other people?		How can you change that? How can you deal with it positively? (example 1: it's hard to change other people, so assessing the situation how can you minimize the time with them when that trait is displayed?; example 2: can you call out this behaviour and set boundaries?; example 3: do I need to remove this person from my life?)
What traits and habits in yourself and others make you anxious and sad?		Why does it make you anxious? What are 5 ways you could remove the anxiety in that situation? How can you deal with it?

Remember to also write down your positive attributes. so your focus is not just on the negatives,